are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize