I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
