he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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