Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
