dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
