At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
