i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
