got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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