You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
