When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
