He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
