new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.