Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.