girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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