What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm sobbing to NWA