dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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