I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
