My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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