I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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