guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
