I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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