"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
