come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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