help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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