I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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