Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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