hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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