One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
