you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
