I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
