i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
