please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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