Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
