there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
