Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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