oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
