Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
