I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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