Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
