I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize