This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Randomize