Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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