I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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