watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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