If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
