Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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