Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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