I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
