I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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