judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
