The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
