I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
