My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
