ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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