Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize