This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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