haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
