she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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